Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Rose



















It was two years ago this morning that Craig, my handsome young lover died. At 8:00 AM I found his body on the floor of his bedroom. He had died of "accidental auto-erotic-asphyxiation". [see my blog on here dated September 19, 2006]
The last two years have gone so fast....were it not for my many friends I could not have survived as well as I have. Today I spent some time with Jazz [that's her picture in the About Me column]. I'm sure she wondered why I cried all over her but she likes being held. Years after my father died my mother told me "It never gets better, but it does get easier". I have to agree with mom.

Tonight I went to the Baltimore Symphony with our friend Steven. On the way home this song was playing on the radio. While Craig and I both liked Bette Midler this song was not particularly special for either of us. Since he died everytime I hear it I tear up. Isn't it amazing how music effects us? The words pretty much describe how I feel about Love. Yes, I freely admit to being a sentimental old fool.
Here are a few pictures of Craig. The young man with Craig at the Cloisters in New York City is our friend Gunny. The first infant Craig ever held was Lila, a good friend's daughter, I'm glad I got a picture of the two of them. And that's me standing behind Craig and the big yellow duck.

The Rose Lyrics – (by Amanda McBroom)

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose
(performed by Bette Midler)

3 comments:

rj_philippic said...

Ah, sweetie.

I thank God/dess for the good times you had with Craig. Be kind to yourself today. Much love, dj

Joan Saniuk said...

Oh, sweetie.

I thank God/dess for the fun times you had with Craig.

Watching Ace of Cakes and thinking of you. Be kind to yourself today.

Love, dj

Mark said...

Hey Honey, I thought the anniversary was coming up. I miss him too; he could be a royal pain in the butt and also sweet as pie. You have big hug coming from me when next we meet. Thanks again for picking up supplies for me, you're a good friend. Hugs, kisses ~ Mark